Tag Archives: SAHM

I Quit My Beard-Job

I just quit my job. The job I would mention when people asked me if I did anything outside of the home. I was only working for 20-minutes to 1-hour/day, from the comfort of my home, but I enjoyed being able to tell people that I was more than “just a mom.” But, as we all know, there is a difference between enjoying the idea of a job and enjoying the day-to-day reality of a job.

For every good week I had at my super-part-time-job, I was left with a disorganized mess of a home and felt disconnected from Jay. For every good week I had keeping up with the house and Jay, I barely got an hour/week in at my yeah-I’m-not-just-a-mom-beard-job. My time sheet was all peaks and deserts.

I expected that I would find my balance between work and mom-stuff, but that didn’t happen. When I first began, my daughter wasn’t yet taking naps in her crib. So I worked from my phone while Jay took naps on top of me or cuddled beside me. That was heaven — the cuddling part!

A month and a half ago Jay started napping in her crib and I thought that everything would be different! I’d work during naps and clean while she played by herself (or enjoyed some screen time–awful but true!). But it was around that time that she became a very social and interactive player. It wasn’t enough that I was in the same room or the TV was talking to her, she wanted to share toys with me, have babble conversations, and pick out books for me to read to her — I had been waiting for this! This is what I’m good at! But instead, I found myself spending her playtime cleaning up and prepping meals instead of interacting. Neither of us liked this deal.

My understanding employer did not mind my erratic attention to my work-duties, but I found it annoying and unfulfilling both as a mom and a worker-bee. So I had to fire myself. My employer was very understanding about that too.

So it is done. My beard-job is gone. Nothing like getting an enjoyable work-from-home-job with a great hourly rate, ridiculously flexible schedule, and understanding employer to make you realize that you want to be “just a mom” right now.



Post publishing addendum: So yeah, not at all about THAT kind of beard job! Haha! Sorry!


Pardoned: Crazed Ninja Mother Bear

I think that there should be a special legal pardon for actions committed by a woman who has had her child awakened during nap time. No, I do not just think this, I propose this be added to the law-rules at the federal level.

Do Not Disturb!

Do Not Disturb!

I sat on jury duty this summer, and was selected as Madam Foreperson, so I am pretty much an expert on the judicial system now. Furthermore, I spent an extremely expensive semester in law school before I determined that I didn’t, at all, find law interesting in the slightest. Ipso facto, I’m an expert in all things law-related so I am just the person to propose this type of law-change. By the way, this post contains 100% accurate legal jargon.

My proposal for cases of…

Murder/manslaughter related to the interruption of a baby-nap: While I understand the desire in a you-just-awoke-my-baby-mid-nap situation, this is taking things too far. So no law-roundabouts (more expert law jargon) on that one. Avoid doing this. Always.

Assault/battery of a bumbling, doorbell-ringing, yell-talking, nap-intruder: Totally 100% pardonable. It won’t even go to trial. End of story.

I’m going to propose this “it is OK to assault and lightly batterize a nap-waker” law-changey-wangey to my town-crier today, who will walk this to the federal court to get it notarized. That is how these things are done. Let’s all assume the federals will appreciate my expertise in this legal area and pass my proposal immediately.  So, people, you are on notice. Do not wake my baby or the headline will read:

Pardoned: Crazed Ninja Mother Bear Was Granted A Law-Roundabout Before Going To Trial For Using Her Flying Fists of Fury Upon The Person Who Rudely Awakened Her Baby Dragon Child

Looks like the news people can stand to be less verbose, but I’m a law-expert, so I’ll leave that to the writers.