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Wordless Wednesday: Losers

Want to teach your kids about losing? Become Steelers fans this year.

Want to teach your kids about losing? Become Steelers fans this year.

Circuit Training

My kid has a lot of toys. So. Many. Toys.

She also has the attention span of, well, a 12-month-old, so she plays with them all about 40x a day. Hopping from one area to the next. Flexing all of her play muscles.

Jay’s Circuit Training Playing:

1) Remove stackable donuts from the base and throw them around.

"I'm just getting started."

“Hmm… Where to start?”

2) Show those beads where to go on the bead maze atop the activity cube.

3) Hand mama a book to read.

4) Knock down the amazing towers and rocket-ships mama builds with my blocks.

5) Un-stack all of the stackable cups cuz it is so easy!

6) Hand mama a book to read.

7) Go on a walk-about with alligator chompy-walker.

"Check out this chomp-walk, ma!"

“Check out this chomp-walk, ma!”

8) Remove and throw animals in the safari puzzle.

7) Hand mama a book to read.

8) Snatch the book back and read it upside down while mama tidies up.

"Me just read this book, quiet like, ma"

“Me just read this book, quiet like, ma.”

9) Start all over again.

PrepOutMon-day: Doctor’s Note

Dear Blog Readers and Spammy-Hammies:

Gilly has come down with the “cold from hell.” Her words. I am a doctor, so I use doctor talk. She has phlegmitis. She asked me to write a note to excuse her absence today. After making a house call, because I’m the kind of doctor who makes house calls from a horse-drawn carriage, I can confirm that she and her entire family have a very serious cold, or phlegmitis.

I have seen first-hand that story mapping index cards have been used as spare tissues. Unfortunately, the blue lines run when damp and left little blue mustaches on the entire family.

The computer was encased in a gooey snot web. It appears it was last used to google “Eastern Equine Encephalitis.” They do not have EEE. They have a cold. The computer is in quarantine…drying out.

Gilly’s new writing pens? It appears the family has used them to clean out their ears and de-clog their noses. These methods are not medically approved. Nor are these methods approved by common sense.

Writing ideas? Gilly asked me for drugs to aid her creativity. I told her that perhaps reading a book, instead of watching My Best Friend’s Wedding, would aid in creativity. She growled, coughed on a pillow, and threw it at me.

So, she is sick, growly, disgustingly aggressive with her germs, and deplete of adventurous writing tales to share with you today.

With doctorly flourish,

Dr. Smart Doctor Guy

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I Toured A Historic Village…

…and these are the pics I took (don’t forget to look for the photo Easter eggs!):

Taking an architecture tour!

Taking an architecture tour!

This is a building. I don’t know anything about it.

I gave her a leaf!

A recipe for dying fabrics. Yes! I will do this! (No I won’t. Ever.)

This is outside of another old home.

Captured! An old building in a historic village!

Um, this is a modern bench… But look! She is standing and grinning!

No! YOU are obsessed with YOUR baby and are incapable of functioning like a normal human person!!!

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Wordless Wednesday: Casualties

“I’m walking…I’m walking…”

*Whistling casually*

“Sure is sunny out!”

Favorite Fall Things: Stew!

Today felt like fall, so I abandoned my child in the wild (turned TV on and provided her with a snack) while I prepped our first fall stew.

I got the recipe from a slow cooker cookbook I found at a half-price bookstore. And in a rare turn of events, I followed the recipe (aside from adding barley, wine, and seasoning near the end of the cook time because the stew had no flavor whatsoever).

How to make flavorless beef stew in your slow cooker:

Step One: Put child in highchair and provide him/her/it with apples and graham crackers. Doling out two ultra-treats in one snack may help you handle your guilt while simultaneously handling bloody meat chunks. Turn on TV and change channel from ESPN to child-appropriate programming.

“You go cook, ma! I’ll watch this magic screen of evil.”

Step Two: Layer bottom of slow cooker with potatoes and carrots. Gorgeous!

Hearty stew foundation

Step Three: Flour bloody stew meat (that butcher already cut and trimmed) and brown it.

Chunks of floured meat!

Step Four: Add browned meat to slow cooker. Free child from high chair after she is sufficiently snacked and TV’ed out.

This, here, is meat stew!

Step Five: Chop up onion and celery and mix up with meat, being careful not to disturb the carrots and potatoes below. “Tuck in” parsley and bay leaf…and sing them a lullaby.

Mixed and tucked!

Step Six: Pour about 2 cups of “seasoned” beef broth over the sexy meat and veggie medley. Set the slow cooker on High for 5 hours (because you decided to change the order of this week’s meal-plan at 10:00 AM this morning, leaving no time for a proper 9-hour slow-cook at the Low temp setting).

Imagine if you were high for 5 hours!

Step Seven: Leave frozen peas out to thaw and place the package of instant barley (that you accidentally bought at Trader Joe’s that one time) next to slow cooker so you remember to add them in the last 20 minutes of cooking.

Cold peas

Step Eight: Serve with with whatever you’d like… bread, rice, buttered egg noodles, and/or a bottle of red wine. Dig in!

So…I forgot to take a pic of the plated stew and it looks like vomit in tupperware.

Have you started cooking any fall treats?

PrepOutMon-day: Hello, Sexy!

You guys, I know what my next writing project is going to be!! *Gasp!*

I’ve mapped the story out in a very general sense. And I am going to work on mapping out the specifics this week. I am excited! I love the idea! I love the structure! I’m in love, love, love! I even did a few writing sprints on Friday to brainstorm and get a feel for the protagonist. Did I mention this story is “the one” and I’m in love?

Basically, I have the pre-writing stages equivalent of  a dating profile of my perfect man in my inbox and he wants to get to know me!! Is he too good to be true? Will we mesh? Will he show up to our first date with a popped collar and ruin everything? I don’t know where this will go, but I’m going to put on my hottest pair of jeans, some lipstick, and find out!

Also, thanks to this blog I realized that we have to write TONS OF WORDS each day to complete NaNoWriMo!! A little less than 1700 if you are consistent each day. I am consistently inconsistent, so crap! Hope my project likes “quirky” girls!

Oh! And you are all invited to the wedding if this works out!