I think that there should be a special legal pardon for actions committed by a woman who has had her child awakened during nap time. No, I do not just think this, I propose this be added to the law-rules at the federal level.
I sat on jury duty this summer, and was selected as Madam Foreperson, so I am pretty much an expert on the judicial system now. Furthermore, I spent an extremely expensive semester in law school before I determined that I didn’t, at all, find law interesting in the slightest. Ipso facto, I’m an expert in all things law-related so I am just the person to propose this type of law-change. By the way, this post contains 100% accurate legal jargon.
My proposal for cases of…
Murder/manslaughter related to the interruption of a baby-nap: While I understand the desire in a you-just-awoke-my-baby-mid-nap situation, this is taking things too far. So no law-roundabouts (more expert law jargon) on that one. Avoid doing this. Always.
Assault/battery of a bumbling, doorbell-ringing, yell-talking, nap-intruder: Totally 100% pardonable. It won’t even go to trial. End of story.
I’m going to propose this “it is OK to assault and lightly batterize a nap-waker” law-changey-wangey to my town-crier today, who will walk this to the federal court to get it notarized. That is how these things are done. Let’s all assume the federals will appreciate my expertise in this legal area and pass my proposal immediately. So, people, you are on notice. Do not wake my baby or the headline will read:
Pardoned: Crazed Ninja Mother Bear Was Granted A Law-Roundabout Before Going To Trial For Using Her Flying Fists of Fury Upon The Person Who Rudely Awakened Her Baby Dragon Child
Looks like the news people can stand to be less verbose, but I’m a law-expert, so I’ll leave that to the writers.